A Splash of Tonic
|Posted on November 16, 2016 at 3:20 PM|
I find it interesting to realize which character I most relate to when I'm watching something on TV or in a movie. Sometimes it's obvious, but other times, I'm surprised. For example, when three of my firefighter wife friends and I get together, I feel like Samantha from Sex & the City...because I'm the oldest. (Pause for sarcasm here.) It's usually just one persona per show that reflects back at me, but I recognized bits and pieces of myself in almost every role in something recent. I'd love to say I saw the nurturing and lovely parts, but that wasn't the case. Given that the movie was Bad Moms, I should probably be embarrassed to admit this, but I'm not. By the title, I'm sure you can guess it's peppered with f-bombs and foul language. If this offends you, you may want to wait until it's on TBS when the bad words morph into 'fork' and 'trucker'. Beyond that, it was good to laugh out loud at an exaggerated look at being somebody's mama. Before I had kids, I thought I had some idea what it would be like. After all, there are hundreds of the 'what to expect' type of baby instruction manuals on the shelves of the library and bookstores, so how challenging could it be? (Cue the maniacal laughter.) It. Is. Hard. Babies are miracles. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I could grow a person--two of them, actually-- inside my body, because the flowers I keep planting in my yard look awful. Motherhood is the most amazing, fascinating, terrifying, exhilarating, beautiful, messy, wonderful thing I've ever experienced. I have had my heart bursting with love and broken into a million pieces in the same two minutes. There are days when I think I have it figured out mixed with the times when I crawl in bed at night, feeling like a failure. There are things I wish I would have done differently and things I wouldn't change a bit. I love my kids with a fierce love and I am proud of them. They have taught me so much about life and about myself, and I have become a stronger person than I ever thought I could be because of them. For me, the takeaway from the movie was that it's okay to not have it all together. Especially when you throw in being a wife, having a full-time job, a dog, your own social or community organization involvement, your kids' extracurricular activities, and trying to find fifteen minutes before the turn of the century to have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine with a friend who is in the same situation, to expect ourselves to be perfect is just unrealistic. There are only 24 hours in a day and we can only accomplish so much, even with a husband or partner who is involved. My goal is to love my kids, keep them safe and healthy, and raise them up to be good people with common sense. I know they love me, but I also know there are days when they don't like me. To be honest, I've felt the same way about them once or twice. I know I'll never make it to June Cleaver or Carol Brady status, and probably at my best am more in the vein of Frankie Heck (with a cleaner house) or Beverly Goldberg, but I hope they know I'm doing the best I can. When my kids were younger, and sometimes even now, I've been given unsolicited advice. I remember how annoying it could be and I try not to do the same thing. I will, however, say one thing: It goes way too fast, so enjoy every fantastic, messy minute of it.